Reviewed: Oct 2011
Watch the Video
This was a video that I saw last year (2010) but seems to have popped up on the web around 2009. As a professional trader, I have dealt with the issue of having to explain the simple (at least to me) issue of what I do for a living - as well as whether or not it is an honorable profession. The humor tends to be an inside joke for professional traders only, and probably won't be funny to outsiders.
- Female: "So, what exactly is it that you do?"
- Male: "Like I said, I trade German government bond futures, or more specifically, the "Bunt", which is the 10-year bond."
- Female: "So you invest?"
- Male: "No. I trade."
- Female: "Who do you trade for?
- Male: "I trade for myself. I have no clients."
- Female: "So, how long do you invest in them for? Surely, if you buy a 10-year bond you don't have much to do for the next 10 years."
- Male: "No. I trade. I'm in and out of the market on a very short time frame - sometimes only a few seconds. I can sell or buy and I have the opportunity to make or lose money."
- Female: "So it's gambling?"
- Male: "No, it's trading."
- Female: "Sounds like gambling to me."
- Male: "I don't gamble. I make decisions based on information. You invest, right? So it's just a quicker version of that."
- Female: "I can't believe you're gambling for a living."
- Male: "I don't fucking gamble. Look, if you buy a house, is that a gamble or an investment?"
- Female: "An investment, obviously."
- Male: "But you could still lose money on it."
- Female: "No. I'd do research and buy it at the right time and the right place. It's an educated decision."
- Male: "But still a gamble. Put it this way. Speed up your house-buying - that 25-year investment - into a second or so and that's what I do."
- Female: "You're a fucking gambler."
- Male: "I'm a trader."
- Female: "Don't traders wear suits and work at a bank? You go to work in your shorts. You might as well be playing online poker."
- Male: "I'm getting sick of you calling me a gambler. I'm a local, not a gambler for fuck's sake."
- Female: "I don't care. You seem to be some sort of leach. What exactly does the world derive from your existence?"
- Male: "I'm an integral part of the fucking marketplace. You couldn't understand. I provide liquidity, if you must know. That's what I am - a liquidity provider."
- Female: "I'll tell you what you are. You're a fucking gambler through and through. I just can't believe you gamble for a living."
- Male: "I'm a local, OK? A liquidity-providing local. I trade. It's respectable. Don't make me beat it into you."
- Female: "And what is it that you trade again?"
- Male: "Size. I trade fucking size."